Bad Boy Sass

There's one simple reason why I dated so many bad boys and drug dealers in my formative years: Josh Hartnett. I can trace all of my bad boy yearnings back to The Faculty, where he plays Zeke, a brilliant, sensitive-on-the-inside, super foxy drug dealer. One look, and I was toast. Nice guys? No thanks, give me someone pushing uppers in the boys' bathroom. And, might I remind you who saves the day (AND lands the foxy English teacher)? Yup. I’m certain that he also contributed (along with the eyebrow god himself) to my lust for men with a strong brow.
  Wait, what’s that he’s driving there? Is it the sexiest car of all time driven in possibly the sassiest, sexiest bad boy entrance ever?

Yes, I’ll take two of whatever you’re selling, thanks.

That’s not to say that Hartnett was the only bad boy for me. Oh no, this was the era of the teen flick. Hottie bad boys and drug dealers were all over those days. Observe:

 Though Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You turned out to be more of a softie than you’d think, Heath Ledger still brought the sass. Also, please note: eyebrows.

Channing Tatum isn’t even my kind of guy, but put together bad boys and dance, and I’m sold anyway.

The only thing better than a bad boy? A bad boy set straight by the love of a good woman (even if it is in a sapfest like A Walk to Remember).

Good thing I saw The Faculty before I saw Scream…otherwise my penchant might have been for psychopathic killers.

Romeo? Totally a bad boy—he did kill Juliet’s cousin, after all. Though I have to say, the sass award in this picture definitely goes to Harold Perrineau.

And they weren’t just in movies…the bad boy eventually made his way to the small screen, too.

Joshua Jackson brought the sass with his bad boy Pacey.

Seriously, what dummy would have chosen lame-o good guy Dean over Jess? You did the right thing, Rory Gilmore.

Daniel Desario—bad boy AND burnout? Yes please.

Really, Mike Vogel’s character Jay Hogart just represented one of many rotating bad boys on Degrassi. But, as I have drunkenly posited on numerous occasions, he’s the big bad, as opposed to Spinner’s half-assed badness.

The O.C. was filled to the brim with sass (Julie Cooper-Nichol, anyone?) and reigning bad boy Ryan Atwood sassed with the best of them.

The sexy bad boy archetype isn’t limited to my generation, however. Remember these guys?

Please, Mr. Jailer, won’t you let my man go free?

You can put a baby in my corner, Johnny Castle. (Yeah, I said it.)

 
You’re yearning, burning for some…

 

Whoo, hoo, hoo…honey.

The classic.

You Got Sassed

There’s so much going on in the world of ridiculous dance films right now, I knew we needed a post about the sass that ABOUNDS in dance movies.

Let’s start with the master, the one true king, recently dubbed “Our Lord and Savior” by Best Week Ever, #1 on my “Celebrities For Whom I Would Leave Any Man” list, Mr. Peter Gallagher.
Mmm, mmm. Get a load of those brows. Why should Peter Gallagher be so prominently featured in the dance post, you ask? Well, 1) I’m unabashedly biased, and 2) He’s in both Center Stage AND Center Stage 2, so that’s got to count for something.

Center Stage (hands down the best/worst dance movie in existence) also has plenty of sass from its dancing cast members. Observe:

Ethan Stiefel exudes sass on a motorcycle.

“I am the BEST GODDAMN DANCER in the American Ballet Academy. Who the hell are you? NOBODY.”

 
Zoe Saldana’s Eva Rodriguez is arguably the sassiest character in the movie…

But Sascha Radetsky’s Charlie offers the critical line of the film: “Whatever you feel, just DANCE it.”

Center Stage: Turn It Up, while also featuring the beauty of P.Galls, pales in comparison to the original, both in plot and in sass. Not to worry, because there are tons of other sassy dance films.

Linde and I both have an unhealthy love for You Got Served. Not only is it full of B2K dance battle goodness, but it certainly has the sassiest title of any dance film in existance.

Some girls just don’t know when to go home & stop acting like a ho.

  
And we all know how hardcore dancing-in-the-rain montages can show a dancer’s true skills.

 
The inclusion of Lil’ Kim in any cast automatically increases its sass factor.

Finally, let’s talk about the dance fabulousness coming out this summer. Step Up 3D is the next film in a franchise chock-full of sass.

From Step Up 2 The Streets. See what I mean about the rain, y’all?

I won’t lie, I’ve got a teeny tiny crush on Adam Sevani as Moose. HE’S 18 NOW, OKAY?

 
Step Up 3D features A WALL FULL OF STEREOS. I think this has to be an excellent example of interior sassoration.

And finally, FINALLY, I’ve saved the best for last, you guys. As cross-promotion for Step Up 3D, Hulu has teamed up with Jon Chu to create THE MOST UTTERLY RIDICULOUS DANCE EXPERIENCE I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE—The LXD: The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers. I know we’re only a few webisodes in so far, but I have yet to see this show make any sense at all. I wish I were lying when I said that some of the dancers GET THEIR POWER FROM MAGICAL PACKING PEANUTS. What a hot mess.

You can’t make this shit up.