I Got It Bad (and That Ain't Good)

Tara's post is EPIC and there is not much to add in terms of screen bad boys that proved to be all too alluring than their "nice guy" counterpoints, but I will wager to add a few choice sassy heartthrobs.
Jordan Catalano not only gave mainstream visibility to dyslexia, but epitomized the mid'90s with this haircut and smoldering gaze - no wonder he was the tool to so many girls' undoing.
BLAAINE! - No! And while I can still get behind Two and Half Men because Jon Cryer was the unstoppable and lovable Duckie, the real thing that always makes me mad about Annie/Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink is why she didn't fuck James Spader?! C'mon! Add doing lines in his parents' gigantic study and you get the best revision of a "wholesome" John Hughes film.
And yes girl (Majandra Delfino), you are looking fly, and I feel your longing for the out of this world/extraterrestrial sass of Brendan Fehr in Roswell. If you doubt the potency of his pout, watch this episode, then complain.
Like Jon Cryer, I will advocate on behalf of this man's career today because of his '80s teen film roles. Though Christian Slater channels James Dean in Heathers, his rebellious smoking and psychopathic murderous rage make him a bad boy for the ages.
Along the same anarchic wavelength, pre-Mad Men Vincent Kartheiser is a hottie when he's beaten up but still defiant in Masterminds, a film Tara introduced me to!
But River's Edge wins for having both Crispin Glover and Keanu Reeves in their bad boy finest. Apparently I go for murderers more than drug dealers, oh good.
Lastly, how could I forget this notorious one's best performance. If we could only remember him for this:

Bad Boy Sass

There's one simple reason why I dated so many bad boys and drug dealers in my formative years: Josh Hartnett. I can trace all of my bad boy yearnings back to The Faculty, where he plays Zeke, a brilliant, sensitive-on-the-inside, super foxy drug dealer. One look, and I was toast. Nice guys? No thanks, give me someone pushing uppers in the boys' bathroom. And, might I remind you who saves the day (AND lands the foxy English teacher)? Yup. I’m certain that he also contributed (along with the eyebrow god himself) to my lust for men with a strong brow.
  Wait, what’s that he’s driving there? Is it the sexiest car of all time driven in possibly the sassiest, sexiest bad boy entrance ever?

Yes, I’ll take two of whatever you’re selling, thanks.

That’s not to say that Hartnett was the only bad boy for me. Oh no, this was the era of the teen flick. Hottie bad boys and drug dealers were all over those days. Observe:

 Though Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You turned out to be more of a softie than you’d think, Heath Ledger still brought the sass. Also, please note: eyebrows.

Channing Tatum isn’t even my kind of guy, but put together bad boys and dance, and I’m sold anyway.

The only thing better than a bad boy? A bad boy set straight by the love of a good woman (even if it is in a sapfest like A Walk to Remember).

Good thing I saw The Faculty before I saw Scream…otherwise my penchant might have been for psychopathic killers.

Romeo? Totally a bad boy—he did kill Juliet’s cousin, after all. Though I have to say, the sass award in this picture definitely goes to Harold Perrineau.

And they weren’t just in movies…the bad boy eventually made his way to the small screen, too.

Joshua Jackson brought the sass with his bad boy Pacey.

Seriously, what dummy would have chosen lame-o good guy Dean over Jess? You did the right thing, Rory Gilmore.

Daniel Desario—bad boy AND burnout? Yes please.

Really, Mike Vogel’s character Jay Hogart just represented one of many rotating bad boys on Degrassi. But, as I have drunkenly posited on numerous occasions, he’s the big bad, as opposed to Spinner’s half-assed badness.

The O.C. was filled to the brim with sass (Julie Cooper-Nichol, anyone?) and reigning bad boy Ryan Atwood sassed with the best of them.

The sexy bad boy archetype isn’t limited to my generation, however. Remember these guys?

Please, Mr. Jailer, won’t you let my man go free?

You can put a baby in my corner, Johnny Castle. (Yeah, I said it.)

 
You’re yearning, burning for some…

 

Whoo, hoo, hoo…honey.

The classic.

You Got Sassed

There’s so much going on in the world of ridiculous dance films right now, I knew we needed a post about the sass that ABOUNDS in dance movies.

Let’s start with the master, the one true king, recently dubbed “Our Lord and Savior” by Best Week Ever, #1 on my “Celebrities For Whom I Would Leave Any Man” list, Mr. Peter Gallagher.
Mmm, mmm. Get a load of those brows. Why should Peter Gallagher be so prominently featured in the dance post, you ask? Well, 1) I’m unabashedly biased, and 2) He’s in both Center Stage AND Center Stage 2, so that’s got to count for something.

Center Stage (hands down the best/worst dance movie in existence) also has plenty of sass from its dancing cast members. Observe:

Ethan Stiefel exudes sass on a motorcycle.

“I am the BEST GODDAMN DANCER in the American Ballet Academy. Who the hell are you? NOBODY.”

 
Zoe Saldana’s Eva Rodriguez is arguably the sassiest character in the movie…

But Sascha Radetsky’s Charlie offers the critical line of the film: “Whatever you feel, just DANCE it.”

Center Stage: Turn It Up, while also featuring the beauty of P.Galls, pales in comparison to the original, both in plot and in sass. Not to worry, because there are tons of other sassy dance films.

Linde and I both have an unhealthy love for You Got Served. Not only is it full of B2K dance battle goodness, but it certainly has the sassiest title of any dance film in existance.

Some girls just don’t know when to go home & stop acting like a ho.

  
And we all know how hardcore dancing-in-the-rain montages can show a dancer’s true skills.

 
The inclusion of Lil’ Kim in any cast automatically increases its sass factor.

Finally, let’s talk about the dance fabulousness coming out this summer. Step Up 3D is the next film in a franchise chock-full of sass.

From Step Up 2 The Streets. See what I mean about the rain, y’all?

I won’t lie, I’ve got a teeny tiny crush on Adam Sevani as Moose. HE’S 18 NOW, OKAY?

 
Step Up 3D features A WALL FULL OF STEREOS. I think this has to be an excellent example of interior sassoration.

And finally, FINALLY, I’ve saved the best for last, you guys. As cross-promotion for Step Up 3D, Hulu has teamed up with Jon Chu to create THE MOST UTTERLY RIDICULOUS DANCE EXPERIENCE I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE—The LXD: The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers. I know we’re only a few webisodes in so far, but I have yet to see this show make any sense at all. I wish I were lying when I said that some of the dancers GET THEIR POWER FROM MAGICAL PACKING PEANUTS. What a hot mess.

You can’t make this shit up.

More Sassy 'Staches

Just to prove that Bradley Whitford isn't the only sassy mustachioed Wes grad out there...

 Sass runs wild in Boy Crisis

Victor (previous Old-School Sassy Face Wall of the Month recipient) and Himanshu of Das Racist show off their sass

Food blogger Max of Baehr Eats Food and Fuck Dat Sammich sasses it up with his fancy face

Bradley Whitford and the Sassy 'Stache

So both Linde and I have been totally getting into The Good Guys lately, and let's be honest--Bradley Whitford MAKES this show. He's got excellent comedic timing, is startlingly good at seeming just a bit dimwitted, and it can't hurt that he's a Wesleyan grad (Go Wes!). And what better way to up the sass than with a perfectly-groomed mustache?

Haven't seen The Good Guys yet? There's really no excuse. Check out the pilot to see how much cleverness you've been missing:

America's Sweethearts Vol. 2

I just wanted to add my thoughts on Linde's America's Sweethearts post. I may have only seen one episode of this show (I know, I know) but I totally adored it, due partially to the addition of Adam Scott to the cast. Adam Scott manages to show extreme sass both in Parks & Rec AND his Starz show Party Down. Check it out:

Yeah, that's right.

America's Sweethearts

A show that I find consistently hilarious is Parks and Recreation. Though I had a soft spot for it even in its first season, I'm really impressed with the way it turned around and really fleshed out some characters in the second. The show also features many crush-worthy and sassy comedians.

Aubrey Plaza is a NATIONAL TREASURE. Seriously, her expressions kill me. Whether she's clowning on Jerry or lovelorn over Andy, her sideways glances convey optimum sass. She's also a Tara doppelganger, which makes her even better.

Parks also features my favorite comedian, Aziz Ansari. Luckily, my brother and I got to check out his Dangerously Delicious tour in Chicago. It was surreal to be so close to someone who simultaneously cracks you up and makes you wanna holler. Besides the jokes being 'DOPE' I have to give the man serious props for his amazing suit - Band of Outsiders? This sharply dressed dude is the epitome of sass. Check out that pout and neck jutting.
Some natural history museum taxidermy-chic (BEARS!) never hurts the sassy/smoldering look either.